I've spent the better part of the past couple of weeks sunk into a depression in which I could not write. Nothing I had interested me. The WIPs I had been working on so diligently irked me.
I spent time watching movies, my favorites that always gave me some form of inspiration before, but nothing worked. Not even reading my favorite authors.
I was on edge, I paced, I was restless and irritable. Nothing interested me. Not shopping, not the library, not going out. I sat at my computer and stared at the screen as if something would magically appear.
One night, while lying in bed, I realized something was happening in my mind. The beginnings of a spark was trying to form. Weak and faint, I carefully nurtured it. I sheltered it. I slowly, and with infinite care as not to smother it, fed it ideas and what ifs, letting it grow on its own, until the spark became more that just a little spark.
I have, in my mind, a story. It's a story I have no ending to, nor am I entirely sure if there's a middle. I only know there's a beginning, but I'm not worried. All stories start with a beginning.
I realized the process from nothing to this tiny spark was a lesson, one I think a perfectly good lesson for me to learn.
Don't push myself where and when I'm not ready to go yet.
I have one novel about to be published. I went from writing it, to editing, to submitting, to being picked up, to editing, to trying to promote myself and my book, to trying to write more stories, while trying to keep up with my falconry, my family. I never once gave myself time to sit back and just breathe. Even now, while writing this, I'm also writing the beginnings of the new story, while trying to figure out how to better promote myself, and not worry that the soon to be released novel is going to bomb, and OMIGAWD, WHAT ABOUT REVIEWS?!? WHAT IF IT SUCKS?!?
I was forced to take a step back and not write until the dust settled.
I'm still worried. I'm still struggling. Best of all, I'm still writing.
I just started the beginning of my next novel. It has nothing to do with "Moonlight and Magick". I'm digging a little into my heritage, using Chinese characters. Paranormal romance. With swords, because I love swords.
Because swords are bad ass.
(By the way, I also own guns, so really, the title is a joke...)