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November 18, 2009

Life Goals

When I was very young, I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to guide others, sharing my knowledge to better theirs. That changed when I realized I didn't have the patience to teach people who really didn't want to learn. I have sibling, both younger, and when I was asked to help them with their homework, it became a chore, a struggle.

When I was in my teens, I wanted to be a "gypsy". I wanted to own a beat up truck with a camper and travel. I had dreams of heading to Montana and finding a job in some greasy spoon and just living a life of obscurity. I'd write when I was alone, maybe publish some novels and a memoir of my travels. Unfortunately, that dream died when I met my then boyfriend. The two years with him and I came out of the relationship with emotional and mental scars. I'd say physical scars as well, but fortunately, the night I was "roughed up", none of the wounds left scars. We did go to Montana on a spur of the moment trip. It would have been better if I hadn't taken him. He didn't want to do anything/see anything I wanted to see and when I did stop to see something, he made such a huff about it, it was no longer fun. I could have lasted longer on the $500 I took with me if he hadn't gone with. He didn't even pitch in to help with the expenses. I really believe that if I'd gone alone, I'd still be in Montana, living out that dream.

By this time, my writing became more and more my only outlet for loneliness and pain. I never shared any of my writing and I no longer have any copies of my writing from that period of my life. However, I married, had a child, went through a major surgery, and wrote.

Becoming published was a dream I had when I was in my teens, but it wasn't something I ever considered I'd do. It was a dream, not a goal, then. Mostly because I was always told, "You have to have an agent" and "You can only get an agent when you're published". Add in the "Oh, it's not good enough to be published" and the "You have to have money to get published". Well, you can see where the dream died.

My 35th birthday came around and I realized I'd let most of my dreams and goals die. I hadn't done anything I'd wanted to do in my life. It was then that I decided I would sit down and list out my goals I wanted to achieve before I died.

1. Become an author - in process
2. Become a falconer - in process
3. Become a mother
4. Get married
5. Own a truck
6. Own a house
7. Act in a play
8. Learn to belly dance
9. Go to college
10. Go to India
11. Go to Scotland
12. Go to Virginia to visit JadedSidhe
13. Meet my favorite authors - This is a partial achievement.
14. Be able to go to a HS reunion with my head held high and not worry about the people that made my life miserable
15. Die in my sleep
16. Beat my Depression and Social Anxiety
17. See my daughter graduate
18. See my husband graduate college - in process
19. Graduate college myself
20. Achieve at least half of my goals

I have a long way to go.

So, what were and are some of your goals?


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